About - WELCOME

My name is Sandy Williams. I have a son Mike, who was born in 1994 and a daughter, Jaclyn who was born in 1999. Jaclyn was given the wrong medication at a local hospital at 20 months of age and went into cardiac arrest at home. She developed Cerebral Palsy due to brain damage. Lived to the age of 14 before becoming a beautiful rose in Heaven’s garden and a glorious Angel!

I have 10+ years in the legal field. I received my associate’s degree in applied science in paralegal/legal assistant. After Jaclyn’s cardiac arrest, I became her full-time caregiver. It made me realize exactly what someone with special needs actually goes through. I became Jaclyn’s arms, legs, and her voice. It was a challenge, to say the least to see my daughter go from learning several words and walking to mentally becoming someone about six months of age and no longer being able to speak, forgetting how to suck on a pacifier, having “cortical blindness” (not being able to decipher what she is seeing but just seeing shapes, colors). Not to mention, all the different illnesses she suffered, all of the hospital stays, and all of the specialists she had to see. The hospital became our second home. We had numerous holidays at the hospital. Her brother would ask me on the way to the hospital, “Is Jaclyn going to die?” No seven-year-old should be saying that about his sister, let alone thinking it.

Keep in mind, this was the hospital where the medicine mistake occurred. It was the only hospital in town that could handle Jaclyn’s numerous illnesses and her special needs. It was nerve wracking to say the least, each and every time we had to go to the hospital. I never left her alone in her room unless she was asleep, and I had already given her the medications she needed and her formula she needed, if she wasn’t on an IV or a continuous feed.

How about Jaclyn? She was one day, a 20-month-old little girl who was learning to walk, talk, and eating regular food along with bottles for supplemental nutrition to not being able to talk, walk, eat, suck on a pacifier, to not being able to see the world around her with her bright, beautiful eyes. She no longer had the freedom of a healthy, beautiful little girl. Can you imagine being stuck in your own mind and not able to voice your own thoughts and express your emotions? She was resorted to being infantile again. It was hard to say the least.

After the cardiac arrest, Jaclyn woke up on her own from the medically induced come after three days. She heard my voice in the ICU. The nurse said, “Did you see that?’ I said, “No.” Because I had been talking to her father. Jaclyn heard my voice and started moving her hand. So, the nurse told me to start talking to her. I, of course, started crying. I took my daughter’s little hand in mine and started talking to her. “Jaclyn Marie, it’s mommy. Can you hear me? I’m here sweetheart. Open your beautiful eyes for me please.” I picked up her hand and started kissing it. I kept saying things like that, and all of sudden I was rewarded with the most beautiful brown eyes looking at me. Jaclyn was taken off the ventilator. Her brother was then brought to the hospital so he could finally see his mother and sister after three days. Oh, what a glorious day it was for this mother. I got to hold my daughter again! I got to see my son again!

Jaclyn was moved into the regular pediatric unit. She started having convulsions. A lot of them. We (me and the neurologist) knew she had brain damage, but the CT scan wasn’t showing it yet. He said it would probably be a week after discharge before the CT scan would reflect the extent of the brain damage. Before we were discharged from the hospital, I was talking to the nurse, Maria. She ended up becoming one of our favorite nurses. I was scared to take Jaclyn home. I didn’t know how to take care of a special needs child. Plus, I knew I would be doing it alone as I was going through a divorce and had a son as well. How was I going to do this? What was Jaclyn going to need? Her advice???? “JUST LOVE HER!” So, that is what I did for the twelve years she lived with Cerebral Palsy. You see, the CT scan she received the week after discharged showed she had permanent brain damage. BRAIN VOLUME LOSS! News I received sitting alone at my dining room table over the phone with the neurologist. I could look down in the basement and see my two kids, Jaclyn asleep in a crib and Mike watching TV.

I had tears streaming down my cheeks and turned away so my son couldn’t see me cry and just sat there praying for strength, praying for my little girl, and wondering what the next step would be. I just took it a day at a time. I did ask “Why Jaclyn?” all the time. It didn’t seem fair that she had to get the medicine mistake, that she had to be the one to go into cardiac arrest because her potassium was 11 or that she had to be the one to pass away at the age of fourteen. Just didn’t seem fair to this mom who wanted to be a mom since I was thirteen years old and who had Jaclyn’s name picked out since I was that age. She was named after my idol, Jaclyn Smith.

But Jaclyn, was the brightest star, the blessing to the family and the greatest joy that God gave us. Her smile and her laughter lit up the room like no other. She was definitely a Godsend to me as her mother. I was blessed to have her for 12 years after the cardiac arrest. She was born on January 20, 1999, and passed away on February 6, 2013. She was buried on Valentine’s Day in 2013. I buried my sweetheart on Sweetheart’s Day!!

After Jaclyn passed away, I volunteered with the local police department’s victim advocacy group for four years and then became their administrative assistant for a while. I also volunteered at the local Cerebral Palsy Association as well as was their secretary.

I decided to do this blog for a few reasons. I wanted to have a place for parents with special needs children to go to just to talk and get advice or make friends, what have you. I also wanted this to be a general type of mom/parent blog because we can all help each other in this world. It has become too negative, and we need to lift each other up and help each other out. You don’t have “neighborly” people anymore. You don’t see people just doing things to help each other without expecting things in return. So, if we can become friends and give advice, and just talk, I think this is what the world needs. We can share recipes or whatever else too.

Everything I have ever done in life has been to make my children proud. I love to “pay it forward”. Whether it is to pay for someone’s drink behind me at Starbuck’s, let someone go in front of me in the grocery store, pay for a few things in line at the store for someone who forgot their wallet or who’s debit card won’t work, thank a service man or woman for serving our country, taking someone’s grocery cart back to the cart corral with mine, compliment a man or woman if they look nice… Whatever it may be. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind to others. However, it isn’t something you see often anymore. So, I’m hoping this blog helps people spread the kind word a little more and just be kinder to each other. Plus, learn a little more about those with special needs both in children & adults.

So, that is basically me in a nutshell. A smile doesn’t cost anything. Please share it. 😊 And please pay it forward. Kindness also doesn’t cost anything.